Can't Cant
by TeaOli
Summary: Funny, but even the overgrown pixie could be entertaining on shore leave.


"It is not that I am unable, Lieutenant," Spock said in that habitually measured lack of inflection that got under everyone's skin at least once in a while. "I choose not to."

"Precisely!" Uhura's answering grin was victorious. She folded her arms under her breasts and leaned back against the tree, watching him. Waiting.

He didn't sigh or roll his eyes, though it would have been clear to anyone who knew him well — and the pair observing the couple thought they knew him pretty well, indeed — that his partner was baiting him, and that he was taking the bait. Funny, but even the overgrown pixie could be entertaining on shore leave.

Spock leaned forward on his moss-covered rock and in a quieter voice asked, "'Precisely,' Nyota?"

Uhura didn't bat a lash. "Yes. 'Precisely.'" Her grin stretched further across her face before she continued. "On more than one occasion you expressed the importance of communicating in a _precise_ manner. However, you have also extolled the merits of conveying ideas _efficiently_."

"Indeed, I have," he agreed, apparently unaware of how he was allowing himself to be reeled in. "And as a linguist and a communications officer, you, above all others, should be in agreement."

The fading forest light couldn't hide the gleam in Uhura's eyes, and only Kirk's elbow jabbing into his ribs kept Bones from barking out a shout of laughter at what was sure to follow the half-Vulcan's confident statement.

"Oh, I _do_ agree, Commander," Uhura told her pointy-eared boyfriend. "I absolutely agree."

For a moment, Spock seemed to be perplexed. But only for a moment. In the next instant, he admitted his befuddlement.

"If you agree," he began, "then I fail to comprehend what could account for the decidedly triumphant nature of your earlier response."

Grinning again, she leaned forward and kissed him soundly on the nose.

"Because I won," was her simple explanation.

"Won? I was unaware that we were in a contest."

Shaking her head and chuckling softly, Uhura sat back against the tree again before adopting what Jim called her "school marm" expression. Where the kid had come across that old term… Bones shook his own head, but leaned in real close to watch the show even though it meant moving farther away from the warmth of the artificial fire.

"Spock," she said, her softened tone a clear indication she was going in for the kill. "You claim to refrain from using contractions for the sake of clarity, precision and efficiency. And yet, when speaking Federation Standard English, it is unlikely that employing standardized elisions would hinder the first two, and such usage often aids in achieving the third.

"Of the most commonly used forms, only 'can't,' 'there's,' 'you're,' 'who's,' and 'we've', have homophones within the language. Even so, those can only be misinterpreted under extraordinary circumstances. At the same time, it must be acknowledged that it takes less time to pronounce the aforementioned words than it does to say 'cannot,' 'there is,' 'you are,' 'who is,' and 'we have.'"

"You're quite correct," he conceded. "I can't fault your logic, ashayam."

With that, he stood and stretched out a hand to help her to her feet.

Fingers tightly entwined and practically joined at the hip, the couple quickly traversed the first half of the ten meters between their cabin and the communal meeting space. To Jim's evident shock and McCoy's amusement, Spock stopped around five meters away and pulled that gorgeous woman crazy enough to be attracted to him into a passionate embrace.

"What was that for?" she gasped out breathlessly once he'd lifted his head and began hurrying her towards their dirtside quarters once more.

"Such rational thinking should be properly acknowledged," they heard him tell her just before the two of them disappeared behind their cabin door.

Bones glanced over at the captain's incredulous expression and finally let out the laugh he'd been holding in since the whole debate had started.

"And that, Jim-boy," he pronounced, "was what passes for foreplay for green-blooded hobgoblins!"

* * *

**A/N:** Because, guess what? Despite popular belief, Spock _can_ and _does_ use contractions.

Disclaimer: I don't own any Star Trek characters or concepts, nor do I profit from writing silly little ficlets featuring them.


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